By @DannyKohan
I was convinced….The Dodgers were Cursed.
My Red Sox fan “friends” chuckled, glancing at each other, shaking their heads.
They disagreed emphatically.
“Nope, not even close.”
A REAL curse, they explained, is almost a hundred years of suffering, not merely going 32 years since your last title.
Try 86 years without winning one because your owner was low on funds and sold Babe Ruth to your arch rival’s for $125K to finance a Broadway show. Try watching those same arch rivals dominate you and the rest of baseball for a solid century, on their way to 26 titles while you barely sniff the World Series (a direct result of you foolishly giving the Babe away).
Try being a ground ball away from finally winning that World Series only to have it go through your legs….
Fair points, I guess.
My Cubs “friends” agreed. Actually, they were even more adamant. They said things like: “The Dodgers in no way shape or form qualify as ‘Cursed.’ Try losing since 1908. Try 108 years of agony until you finally win a title. What’s it been? 32 years since your last…(full belly laugh)…..that’s nothing.” Try….
And on it went.
Still, after losing in the playoffs EIGHT straight years, including two of the last three World Series (One in heartbreaking fashion in 7 games to the *cough* Cheaters *cough)…..things were beginning to feel more than slightly “Cursish” to me.
If not a straight up “Curse Curse,” the Dodgers were at least Curse adjacent I believed.
It’s been said that in order to break a curse, something really weird must happen. Not your ordinary everyday “oh, doesn’t that cat look strange” kind of weird. No, I’m talking something extra EXTRA-ordinary. Think your best friend randomly walking up to and punching you in the face for no reason at all level weird.
To break a Baseball Curse? Well, my baseball friends say that requires even more.
That requires things to happen outside of the physical realm we know and understand so well, beyond logic and reason….for things to actually enter the supernatural.
For the Red Sox, it was not only becoming the first (and still only) team in MLB history to overcome a 3-0 deficit in the MLB Playoffs, it was doing it to those HATED Ruth stealing Yankees.
For the Cubs, it was fighting back from a deficit in Game 7 of the World Series. A comeback which required the heavens opening up, rain pouring down, a weather delay and extra innings to close the deal.
Thus, at the start of this year’s MLB Playoff’s, with the Dodgers holding the best record in all of baseball (yet again), I did what any Millennial these days would do, I took the next logical step….
I googled “How to Break a Curse.”
Thanks to the magic that is the Google search engine, an article instantly popped to the top of my phone from a curious website called TheTravelingWitch.com.
Hesitant, I asked myself what I had to lose…..I clicked on. For, I had become adamant, the time had come, it was now or never….I had no choice.
It was time to delve into the supernatural.
The title of the first article I came across was titled: “Cursing 101: How to Break a Curse.”
Now, according to the article there are 5 steps to breaking a curse.
Step 1: Evaluate the Situation: Ask if you know for certain that you’ve been cursed.
After absolutely dominating a pandemic shortened 2020 season, the Dodgers cruised through the first two rounds, sweeping both the Brewers and a feisty (chalk full of young talent) Padres team.
Result: Maybe the Dodgers weren’t cursed after all? Maybe my Red Sox and Cubs friends were right. Maybe I SHOULD just chill, enjoy the Lakers title run and not worry so much about The Dodgers.
Still, I had to check out the next step…you know, just to be sure.
Step 2: Reflect the Spell
I was slightly confused by this. How does one “reflect” a spell?? I clicked on the link provided: “What to do when Witchcraft gets Sticky: Reflecting Spells.”
Perhaps, not exactly what I was looking for, but still, it will do. The article states that reflecting a spell is “A method of sending the magic back to the caster, leaving you curse free.”
The site recommends using a small mirror, a black or white candle, black pepper, oregano and “anointing oil” (It makes sure to note that cooking oil works just fine if other “anointing oil’s” are not available).
I have those!
Result: The Dodgers fall to a 2-1 series deficit to an inferior Atlanta Braves team in the NLCS. Okay, now I’m sure of it….The Dodgers ARE cursed.
Step 3: Try a Simple Curse Breaking Spell
For this one, I took a bath with Epsom salt and “hex breaking herbs” (jasmine) like they suggested. Then I burned a “bay leaf” at dawn and again at sunset…allowing the smoke to waft over me (Don’t judge me, I was desperate).
Result: One of the Greatest Pitcher’s of His Generation loses yet again in a big Playoff spot. Dodgers down 3-1 to the Braves….Hope is all but lost.
Step 4: Brute Force
This step requires the following: Air Drying Clay, water charged with the sun’s energies at noon, a slip of paper and a red pen, another bay leaf, a black candle, fire safe container, a tool for writing in clay and a hammer.
This is where I panicked. I’m fresh out of air drying clay and “noon water!” Where was I to find these vital items in less than 24 hours, in these, uncertain hectic times??
It’s over, I thought. I have failed. The Dodgers have failed. We are about to lose in 5 and fall short of winning the World Series yet again, despite having the most talented roster from top to bottom.
Result: This is when something truly out of this world extraordinary happened. Yes, it finally happened….
Let me explain.
On October 11, 2019 (a much simpler time) the major motion picture Gemini Man was released in theaters. Now, I warn you, this was not a good movie. It mostly contains nonsense action scenes that don’t really jive with the plot.
However, let’s ignore the dialogue for a second, ignore the flawed mismatched scenes and examine the movie at its’ core. It’s basically a film about an old Will Smith fighting a young Will Smith.
“Good” Will Smith vs. “Evil” Will Smith .
Almost one year after the release of this random film, (October 7, 2020, pandemic time).….”IT” happened.
Call it fate…call it destiny…call it whatever you like. All I know is “it” finally did happen. FOR REAL this time! An event so extraordinary that it defies logic. An event entering the supernatural realm….
A Curse Breaker.
It’s the 6th inning, the Dodgers are trailing 2-1, ten outs from losing in FIVE to the hated Braves.
Still, there is hope. We have two on base, but there’s two outs and they’ve stranded runners all series, especially the guy at the plate….Dodger’s young talented catcher Will Smith.
On the mound? Atlanta’s flame thrower of the same name, Will Smith.
Older Will Smith of the Braves vs Younger Will Smith of the Dodgers.
Good Will Smith vs. Evil Will Smith??
This was it. This was the sign. It was now or never.
The count goes 3-2, one pitch to decide it all….And then….It Happened….
GOOD WILL SMITH PREVAILS!!
Good, young and pure Will Smith of the Dodger’s home run proves to be the spark they desperately needed, as they go on to win that game and eventually become the 14th team in baseball history to overcome a 3-1 series deficit in a 7 game series.
The Dodgers advance to the World Series where they face the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, as prohibitive favorites according to Sports Betting Dime’s odds (-203)!!!!
I know I know, it’s not over yet. They have to actually WIN the World Series for the “Curse” to be broken, not merely get there as favorites again. However, consider this: The last time the Dodgers won the World Series, there was another L.A. team that happened to do the same.
That 1988′ Los Angeles Lakers team? Led by #32 Magic Johnson, the man who spoiled L.A. with 5 titles in the 80’s, the man who helped bring LeBron Freaking James to the Lakers to continue to do the same. The man who 32 years later co-owns the Dodgers. The man who could be celebrating his second title in the past two weeks.
I know, I know, it’s bad luck (or Bad JuJu ) to call your shots. I know, some random dude typing this right now might jinx it all!
But, fuck it, this is my Babe Ruth moment. I’m pointing my keyboard to the heavens.
I believe that curses were made to be broken.
Besides, Dodgers Manager Dave Roberts has already thrown it out there….
Who am I to disagree?
THIS YEAR Good WILL defeat Evil.
Mark my words, before the end of 2020, the Dodgers will be World Series Champions…..
This is Our Year.
As for me, all that is left while I take in the game tonight will be Step 5.
Step 5: After you’ve broken the Curse: “Thoroughly cleanse yourself, your home and anyone else who has been affected by the curse.”
Now, excuse me while I “set up wards and protective enchantments” around myself and my home in preparation for tonight’s Game 6.
Anyone got some extra clay? How about some “noon water” charged full of the sun’s energies?
Please?
Written By: @DannyKohan
Podcast Host + Writer @InTheFrontRowLa
@SerenityNowSports 🏀 @LP2SP 🎬@thedailyserenityshow 🍿
